RIP Louis"Butch" Marcuccilli

***I just wrote this raw and just as as stream of thought so the sentence structure may not be that great***


Today I, or is should say we lost my Father-in-law, Lou.  At this point the emotions run from a sense of numbness, to sadness, to just being pissed off that he's not here anymore. I'm trying to not be too emotional (the rest of the family will get more than enough of that from others, but I don't want to seem indifferent, because i'm not.  This man was my Father for almost 20 years and I'm going to miss him, but I can't help feeling that he's free now.  He doesn't have to struggle to breathe anymore.  He doesn't have to sit down after taking a few steps from exhaustion.  He doesn't have to be sad and depressed because he feels like hes a burden.  He truly is free now.
As I right this I think back to when I first met Butch (most people called him Butch).  I had been dating Steve for about a month and he had this beater car and the car broke down about not too far from his apartment.  He called his dad and he drove from the burbs into the city,  He took a look at it and was able to get it running long enough to drive it back to his parents house in Cicero.  So we get to their house where I met his Mom, Fran, his Sister Denise and and her Husband Jose.  So I'm sitting there, in this man's house......in Cicero (notoriously NOT the area for my particular skin tone), and I'm Black, Gay, and dating his son.......his ONLY son......
I will say this:  From the first day until the last day I saw Butch (which was just last week for Christmas) He NEVER treated me with anything other than respect.  He wasn't always as accommodating when it came to people like me, but he was willing to give me the benefit of the doubt.  I'm glad that I never disappointed him (at least I hope I didn't)  Years ago his Mom told me that they were having a conversation and he said out of the blue "Andre......hes a good kid"
What I admire the most about Butch (and the thing I will miss the most) is his role as "Grandpa".  He was the BEST Grandfather to our kids because he never made any distinction from his Grand kids by birth from his Grand kids by Adoption.  And I have no doubt he would have busted a cap in anyone's ass that would have tried to.  He was the Grandpa that played pull my finger, gave the kids soda and candy, told inappropriate jokes.....you know those things that annoy you as a parent but deep down you secretly would have it any other way! He was is will always be the Grandfather my Father couldn't or wouldn't be.  When I told him my intention of legally changing my last name to my Mother's Maiden name, his response was basically "I'm sorry this but I lost all respect for your Father when he couldn't even be bothered to show up at the kid's birthdays! You do what makes YOU happy.  Fuck him, he's the one missing out"
........and he was right.
RIP Butch.  We love you and we will miss you but you are in very good company.

If you see a old couple fighting over a TV and a woman playing referee, tell my Gramma, my Grampa, and my Mom I said hi. oh yeh and find out if Grandma Mary still has that gun in her purse!

The F Word

So recently a Female Rapper by the name Azealia Banks got into one of these Twitter war of words with Blogger Perez Hilton.  He voiced his opinion on her Twitter Beef with another Female rapper (is it just me or does all this sound stupid as hell),  Anyway her response to him was to call him a "Messy Faggot" and that he should kill himself.  After many negative responses, she issued one of those weak ass "non-apologies" saying that there is a difference from a Gay Man and a Faggot.  In her revamped definition a Faggot is a man that acts like a Female, huh....what??? Um ok.  

Let me say this:  I'm not a huge fan of Perez Hilton.  He has spent a lot of years and made a lot of money making fun of people, talking shit about people, in many instances bullying people, and now he wants to play the victim when he steps in between a twitter beef (did I mention that I think this is stupid as hell?) and gets called out?  BITCH PLEASE!  As I recall, didn't he call Wil-I-Am a Faggot a few years back and got his ass kicked over it?
But here's my issue with all this:  I guess because Ms. Banks says she Bisexual, that makes it ok??  By her logic me being a Gay Black Man it would be ok for me to tweet or say that I think she's a Nigger Dyke that, should just kill herself because she's a waste and in 5 years nobody will know who she is anyway that would be ok right??? 
OF COURSE NOT!!!

Bullying takes many forms and with social media, it's even easier.   Do I think what she did was an act of a bully?, YES.  Does it lesson the impact that the person this was directed at has at times been a bully himself?  NO, what she said was fucked up and she way overreacted.  BUT are we overreacting?  Well maybe just a little bit.

Look, I don't really think this girl is Homophobic in the least. Ignorant and lacks self restraint?  Yes! I think she needs to be concentrating on promoting her Album and less on getting her Twitter numbers up (or is that how they promote music now, I can never tell).  What she said was fucked up and dumb, but we, the LGBT community need to be concentrating on the REAL enemy,(GLAAD, this means you to)  the people that really want to take away our civil rights, that really want to see us dead whether its by our own hand, by AIDS  or worse, at the hand of others. The closeted politicians that lobby and pass anti-lgbt laws during the day, and out at the bars sucking dick in the back....THAT'S who we should be putting on blast.  GLAAD should not have gotten themselves involved by denouncing what she said.  It makes them (and us) look petty and it does nothing to combat real LGBT bullying. 

Coming soon.......the N word....... 

New Year, New Blog

I've been wanting to start a blog for quite a while now and here it is!!  This will be a short post and I won't get into too much right now, but I will set the stage of how I would like this to flow.

First and foremost:  This blog and the the things I will be talking about will NOT be for everybody.  I like to talk about a lot of different things.  I like to talk about subjects that make people think, get people talking.  I don't hold back and I will use language that may offend so be forewarned.  It is not my intent to offend, but I think sometimes we are too fucking politically correct and we don't say what we really need to say.

Well, I guess that's it for now.  I have A LOT I want to discuss, so I'll be back soon ;)