RIP Louis"Butch" Marcuccilli

***I just wrote this raw and just as as stream of thought so the sentence structure may not be that great***


Today I, or is should say we lost my Father-in-law, Lou.  At this point the emotions run from a sense of numbness, to sadness, to just being pissed off that he's not here anymore. I'm trying to not be too emotional (the rest of the family will get more than enough of that from others, but I don't want to seem indifferent, because i'm not.  This man was my Father for almost 20 years and I'm going to miss him, but I can't help feeling that he's free now.  He doesn't have to struggle to breathe anymore.  He doesn't have to sit down after taking a few steps from exhaustion.  He doesn't have to be sad and depressed because he feels like hes a burden.  He truly is free now.
As I right this I think back to when I first met Butch (most people called him Butch).  I had been dating Steve for about a month and he had this beater car and the car broke down about not too far from his apartment.  He called his dad and he drove from the burbs into the city,  He took a look at it and was able to get it running long enough to drive it back to his parents house in Cicero.  So we get to their house where I met his Mom, Fran, his Sister Denise and and her Husband Jose.  So I'm sitting there, in this man's house......in Cicero (notoriously NOT the area for my particular skin tone), and I'm Black, Gay, and dating his son.......his ONLY son......
I will say this:  From the first day until the last day I saw Butch (which was just last week for Christmas) He NEVER treated me with anything other than respect.  He wasn't always as accommodating when it came to people like me, but he was willing to give me the benefit of the doubt.  I'm glad that I never disappointed him (at least I hope I didn't)  Years ago his Mom told me that they were having a conversation and he said out of the blue "Andre......hes a good kid"
What I admire the most about Butch (and the thing I will miss the most) is his role as "Grandpa".  He was the BEST Grandfather to our kids because he never made any distinction from his Grand kids by birth from his Grand kids by Adoption.  And I have no doubt he would have busted a cap in anyone's ass that would have tried to.  He was the Grandpa that played pull my finger, gave the kids soda and candy, told inappropriate jokes.....you know those things that annoy you as a parent but deep down you secretly would have it any other way! He was is will always be the Grandfather my Father couldn't or wouldn't be.  When I told him my intention of legally changing my last name to my Mother's Maiden name, his response was basically "I'm sorry this but I lost all respect for your Father when he couldn't even be bothered to show up at the kid's birthdays! You do what makes YOU happy.  Fuck him, he's the one missing out"
........and he was right.
RIP Butch.  We love you and we will miss you but you are in very good company.

If you see a old couple fighting over a TV and a woman playing referee, tell my Gramma, my Grampa, and my Mom I said hi. oh yeh and find out if Grandma Mary still has that gun in her purse!